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Dee’s Story

“Finding the right therapist takes work – ask questions before seeing one.”

Share your stigma experience.   

In my early 20’s I remember pulling my couch upside down over me. My husband found me and called my mom. She came over and I said that i wanted to disappear. The world would be better off without me. I could stay awake working and going out and then crash for 3 straight days in high school. Over 30 years I had many therapists and drugs, I committed myself to the hospital for a week. I tried to raise 2 kids; I slept through their childhood and my husband put up with it grudgingly. I had regurgitating thoughts, dread of September (SAD), and my cycle made life exponentially worse. I would never tell anyone about thoughts of suicide because I knew the processes that would set in motion if any doctors were aware. My thoughts about things I said and did would be a constant worry. “Did I say the right thing? Did someone think I was inappropriate?” Since my Aunt took her life in 1978 and the family did not want to experience that feeling again, I never did take action. Imposter Syndrome has been a weird conversation with doctors. Anna Marie Cox spoke to my mind when I listened to the podcast because I followed her with many of the shows I watched and she appeared to have herself in a good place. It really shook me to hear her experience. I miss her punditry. Ever since I heard her words on the podcast I cant stop thinking about how much she helped me to connect some major dots in my life.

How did you overcome this experience?

I moved to Atlanta in 2003 and I got in the sun more often and exercised. After 2003 I never experienced the depth of depression again. I have depression but to the world, I am functional. Finding the right therapist takes work – ask questions before seeing one. I did have a few good ones.

Help others by sharing a brief, positive message.

By soaking up the sun, exercising, finding people who make me laugh and losing the people who create chaos around me…I found my life.

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