Beth’s Story
“You are worth so much to this world no matter what anyone tells you.”
Share your stigma experience.
I have been battling anxiety and depression for as long as I could remember. It manifested itself in crying and screaming fits, avoiding social activities, contemplating taking my own life, avoiding major life changes…just to name a few. My parents weren’t aware and none of my school teachers ever picked up on it. Teachers thought I was lazy and didn’t try hard enough and my parents thought I gave up too easily and eventually it was “just how she is”. I did not get help for my anxiety for a long time because I thought I could handle it myself. That lasted until I was 26 years old and a now ex-boyfriend filled my anxiety bucket to the top and then some. I have never been so low in my entire life. The ways he unknowingly manipulated me and set my anxiety into overdrive left me tired and broken. Seriously…why go on lke this? HOW do I go on like this? I would ask myself every single night. However, to him I was “a psychopath”….just like I was considered “shy” when I was younger. No one understood…in fact sometimes I didn’t even understand. My anxiety eventually became crippling…I was able to get through a day of work but as soon as I got home it was to the bed with the lights off for the rest of the night. Sometimes I ate…sometimes I didn’t. I did what I had to do to keep my job (shower, wake up on time, get to work on time, focus at work, get things done and give my 150% effort) but that was about it. I knew that if I lost my job then I would be in real trouble. I am thankful for that part of my brain. I hated to be awake all I wanted to do was sleep to avoid all of the things that made me anxious. My OCD also increased to a ridiculous level…everything was totally out of whack. It took a lot out of me but I finally agreed to see a therapist.
How did you overcome this experience?
I agreed to cognitive behavioral treatment which I am so beyond words thankful for. My therapist saved my life. About a year into therapy I also agreed to a low dose of lexapro. My therapist taught me so much…how to cope, how to accept what is, how to move on, how to change for the better. Now I know that I will always have anxiety but I am in control of my anxiety and it cannot take over my life again.
Help others by sharing a brief, positive message.
Never give up. You can beat anxiety. You can beat depression. You are worth so much to this world no matter what anyone tells you. YOU are the most important person for YOU. Stay the path and be brave. You are worth it.