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Holly’s Story

“Bipolar disorder is incurable but it is treatable… “

Share your stigma experience.

I have bipolar 1 disorder. I started taking strong medications for my mood swings at 13 but wasn’t diagnosed until 18. I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation & o.d. 3 times. 2013 was my last and dangerous o.d. I was on & off meds bc I felt “better”. Each episode I have is extreme and I don’t remember any of them afterwards. I always wanted to die. I wasn’t scared of death. Now I have a son & amazing bf. For once I am afraid to die! I’m taking meds again but they need adjusted bc I am fighting reality & what’s in my head. I’ve never kept a bf bc of this illness. I divorced my son’s father bc I was manic anddd.. ya. I am scared to express what I feel on the inside bc I don’t want my son’s father to keep him from me. I on the outside am a bubbly, happy, sweet kind person. Passionate and compassionate… on the inside I’m Grey. I get paranoid & my brain tells me what it wants me to believe & I push everyone I love away. I am an artist and I only paint when I am manic but I can finish a painting in 3 hours and also start (Never finishing) many projects. I talk fast and loud. Everyone thinks I’m weird. It’s embarrassing … to have to explain myself or talk to my boss & explain my actions… my current bf of 3 years told me last night he will never leave me. And he has been reminding me to take my medicine.

How did you overcome this experience?

I used to hide the reasons behind my behavior. I used to get high to forget everything. I see a therapist 2x a month. I also see a psychiatrist once a month. I also just opened up and accepted myself. I do spread mental health awareness. I listen to people. I communicate now and I use my energy when I am manic towards good things like painting or cleaning my house. When i get depressed my boyfriend holds my hand. Cooks for me. Listens to me. Even draws me a bath.

Help others by sharing a brief, positive message.

Bipolar disorder is incurable but it is treatable with the right medication from Drs. When you feel balanced, or “normal” keep taking your meds because that means they Are Working!

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